Marcus, the failure
by FeatheryJustice
Summary: Marcus is is a total moron who always fails his exams despite being a prominent D.A.T.S. member. Why does he even attend school, anyway?


Marcus was such a failure that he failed again and again at every test he ever took in high school. In fact, his grades were so inconceivably bad, his mom never talked about them.

But this time, he had one final chance to pass in his report card: the final examination. He studied for it, in his own way. It was like this: He opened his textbook, then continued to goof around with Agumon and watch T.V. with him after that. He continued his _studying_ for five days, then it was finally the day of the test.

_Wow, I bet this exam is gonna be easy! _

Marcus was excited to go to school and pass the test, so that maybe this time he wouldn't have to go to summer remedial classes.

"You sure, boss? I never actually saw you studying...I mean, ya gotta read to get smart, right? I've never seen you read at all!" Agumon said, while eating everyone's leftovers from lunch.

"Of course I've been studying! What do you think I've been doing?! Slacking off? You must be blind or something, Agumon!"

"Well...if you say so, boss. See you later! Oh, and good luck!"

Agumon then opened the fridge and proceeded to eat everything in sight.

Marcus walked to school. It's not like he had any other choice since his family had no car, and his friend Yoshino wouldn't care to give him a ride at all.

Reaching the school, he ran inside, and as usual, his teachers yelled at him for running all over the place. He apologized then continued to run, ignoring the enraged teachers.

He finally found his classroom after being lost for thirty minutes. Luckily, he got there only five minutes late for their review time.

"Sorry, I got...lost."

"Lost? This school isn't even that big! Do you have a brain in that head of yours? Sit down!" the teacher yelled angrily. His class was having a substitute teacher today, but even ''she'' recognized Marcus; what teacher wouldn't?

Marcus sat down, wondering if he brought his textbooks to review or something. He opened his bag, and only found his pens and his notebooks, which, were devoid of any notes.

"Wait, where are my textbooks?! Don't tell me I left them!" Even though it was very obvious that they weren't there at all, Marcus searched frantically, finding absolutely nothing.

"Would you keep quiet? The other students are trying to study!"

Marcus could do nothing, and he just stared at the blank whiteboard for the rest of the session. Getting bored out of his mind, he started whistling so loud that everyone could hear it.

"Stop whistling, Mr. Damon!" The teacher was really enraged this time, and she slapped him hard across the face.

"Oww! Sorry...really.."

After another thirty minutes of foolishness, Marcus finally started the test with a -10% penalty. He thought it wasn't that bad. In fact, he misunderstood his teacher's words and thought she was going to give him a higher grade.

"Yeah, this test looks easy!" Marcus eagerly wrote down his name, then he read the first part of the test..

"Huh? I don't understand any of this..." He tried thinking about the subjects he reviewed, and didn't remember anything. Actually, now that he thought about it, he didn't actually review anything at all..

He guessed 99% of the entire test. The 1% being the essay portion, which asked what he wanted to be when he grew up. However, this question was only worth about 3% of the entire test.

''Well, I still think it was pretty easy! There's not way I could have failed it, even though I...didn't really understand anything!''

He passed the paper, thinking that his answers were so perfect that no one could have gotten a higher score than him. Yes he still thought that, even though he did not even understand the instructions given in the exam.

Since today was the final examination day, he thought that it would be cool to ignore everything else the teachers had to say. After all, why should he care about what they had to say ''after'' the test? He even skipped the last subject just to steal a special sandwich from the cafeteria.

After the school session, he walked home happily. He even stopped by a store to buy some snacks for Agumon to celebrate.

''Agumon and Mom will be so proud of me and my score! Man, I'm awesome! ''

He bought about ten packs of snacks, after wondering whether to buy twenty loaves of bread or to pass on it.

Agumon! You wouldn't believe it! I passed!" exhausted, Marcus threw his bag on the floor

"Really, boss? How did you know? Didn't you just take it today?"

"I just feel it, Agumon! I studied really hard, and I'm really smart. So no doubt about it, I passed!"

"But wait, you do know you left your books on the table in the living room, right? Kristy saw this morning and said that you were being a moron again. That's not true, right boss? It's not like watching T.V. all night prevented you from studying stuff, right?"

"Don't worry about it, Agumon! I'm such a hard worker that I bet I got the highest score! Now who wants some snacks?!" He opened one of the packs and pointed it at Agumon. "Want some?"

"Wait, you bought FOOD?! Let me have some! No wait, let me have ''all'' of them!" Agumon violently grabbed the pack from Marcus and ate nearly half of it.

"Give it back, you overgrown lizard! I'm the one that bought all of those, you know!"

"Well, I'm the one that's really hungry!"

"But I'm the one that got a flawless score on that exam!"

They fought and beat each other up over that pack of junk food for about 5 minutes, then they proceeded to attack the rest of the snacks until Marcus got bored and decided to sleep.

* * *

"Hey, boss! Boss! Aren't you gonna wake up yet?" yelled Agumon, lightly punching Marcus' stomach. "If you don't get up, I'm gonna eat your breakfast~! Hahaha!"

Marcus was dangling over his bed, and yet, he snored so loud his neighbors could have heard it despite it being in the early morning.

"Well, whatever! More food for me, man!" Agumon took this opportunity to run downstairs to the kitchen and to give a very believable excuse to his mother as to why she should give Marcus's breakfast to him.

"I swear, Marcus has this totally horrible stomach disease that prevents him from eating omelets! That's why he's still in bed!"

"Oh, really? Couldn't it be that he just doesn't want to get up? Why don't I go check?"

"NO! Don't do that! You don't need to know how..horrible he looks!"

"You know what, Agumon? Why don't you just have your breakfast now? I'm sure Marcus will wake up soon."

"Oooh! Food! Can't argue with that!" Agumon scarfed down all the omelets that was given to him and immediately demanded for more.

"More!"

Just as he said that, Kristy ran to the kitchen and told her mother to come immediately.

"In a while, okay? Kristy is calling me."

"Awww! My stomach's gonna explode if you don't feed me! So hurry up!"

Kristy led her mother to the living room, where she grabbed a sealed envelope lying on the table.

"It's a message for Marcus, Mom...and I don't think he's going to like it. Actually, I don't think any of us are going to like it."

Her mother opened the envelope and found that it was about Marcus's grades.

They were so low, that the principal had to send a formal letter to his house to check if there were some "special" circumstances that made him have such repulsive grades.

It was like this:

_ Dear Mrs. Damon:_

_ We would like to inform you that your son, Marcus Damon, has failed this semester yet again. Even though the finals of this semester were relatively easy, he failed with a grade of 5%. During his first year in high school, we pretended that he passed and allowed him to attend the summer remedial classes repeatedly despite failing for three consecutive years in pity of your low income due to the absence of your husband, but we regret to inform you that it is impossible to allow such an imbecile to graduate from the final year of high school. To have a graduate bring shame to our school's name during college would permanently damage our reputation. If your son has some sort of mental disability, we recommend that you inform us right away. We hope you understand this situation and somehow persuade your son into putting more effort into his studies before he completely fails all his subjects. _

His mother was already used to this. Every year, there was a letter just like this delivered to their house. The first time this happened, she almost had a stroke, but since then she somehow got over the fact that her son is a total failure. But this time, the letter was longer and more serious in tone.

"Oh dear, it looks like he failed again. But didn't he say that he was sure that he got a perfect grade there?"

"Come on, Mom! You know that Marcus can't be trusted with things like these!"

While this was going on, Marcus finally woke up after an hour or so.

"Geez, why didn't anyone wake me up?" He ran downstairs and reluctantly ate his cold breakfast. But then he noticed that his mother and sister were discussing something that seemed important in the living room. What could it be about? Is Mom planning to buy a special present for his perfectly flawless grade?

He simply couldn't wait to see what his new gift was, so he dashed into the living room and asked eagerly about what they were talking about.

"So what is it? Is it a gift or something? Oh...why are you holding that fancy letter?" Marcus grabbed the letter that was being held by Kristy, and was simply appalled at what he read.

"I'm sorry, Marcus..but I'm going to be stricter from now on. I hoped that maybe you were just being silly or something, but this is really important. I can't ignore this any longer. It's either you get very high grades or I'll confiscate everything in your room and hire a special private tutor for you!" fumed his mother.

_Wow, I never saw Mom this angry..this must be really serious.._

"No way..I can't believe this!"

''I'm actually shocked that it took Mom this long to do this to you. You've been slacking off too long. Good luck with life, Marcus!" and with that, Kristy skipped away merrily. His mother was so disappointed that she just walked away without another word to her moronic son.

"Great..what am I supposed to do?! I already did my very best when I studied for that test; there's no way anyone could have studied harder than that!"

Just as he was yelling to himself, Agumon casually walked into the living room munching on some unidentifiable meat product, which was probably stolen from the neighbor's dog. "Hey, shut up, boss. Yelling at the wall won't do anything about your hopeless grades."

"Wow, real helpful, Agumon! As if I'm not totally annoyed by this!"

"You want me to give advice? Why don't you have a classmate of yours teach you the lessons or something? Besides, if you still don't understand the lesson, you could always take a peek at their papers during the exams."

"Agumon..that's actually a really good idea! But the problem is, my classmates avoid me all the time when I ask for something like homework or whatever..it's like they just want me to fail or something!"

"Why don't you ask Yoshi? She should totally have some free time to take pity on your grades and teach you the stuff you need to know!"

"She'll probably just run over me with her car, you know. Remember the last time?"

"Fine! Then why don't you ask Thomas? He's a genius, after all."

"But we're taking a break from DATS for a while, right? How in the world am I supposed to contact him?"

"Don't worry, I'll try to get some info out of Yoshi or something. If she doesn't know, then I'll just go around annoying everybody out of their minds until they tell me what you want to know!" And with that, Agumon ran out the door without another word.

- A week later -

A week has passed, and during that week, Marcus received the results of the final exam he took a while back. Oh, it was horrible. As his paper got passed around, he could hear the snickers and insults of his fellow classmates. But there was a bigger problem than that: this week was the start of a new semester. That means there will be a ridiculous amount of new lessons. Lessons that he would never understand without help.

He went back home, depressed and hopeless.

"Agumon, did you manage to contact Thomas or something?"

"Oh, I did. It turns out Yoshi actually knew his number, but at first, she was really suspicious at why I was asking for it! She thought that you wanted to prank call him or something. But hey, I showed her that embarrassing letter and she laughed so hard that she totally felt sorry for you! So that's the story of how she gave me his number!" said Agumon, merrily. He looked as if he was about to laugh like a maniac.

Was he supposed to be happy about that? "Yeah, typical Yoshi..Well, anyway, why don't we totally do a prank call?!"

"Dude, really? Why don't you just ask him to tutor you?"

"Fine! Be boring, Agumon."

Marcus was actually really desperate, despite his joking demeanor. He dialed Thomas's number and flicked Agumon's forehead while waiting.

"Stop it, boss, seriously! I'll tell Thomas about that horrible letter you received if you don't stop!"

After Marcus bickered with Agumon for a few more minutes, Thomas finally answered.

"Hello? Who is this?"

"Hey! It's me, Marcus! You know, the dude that saved _our_ world and the Digital World!"

"Oh, wonderful. What do you want from me?" From the tone of his voice, Thomas was obviously disappointed at who the caller was.

"See, I've been wondering if you could teach me about some lessons that my teacher taught me. It turns out I had _no idea_ what she was talking about, but I'm sure you can explain it perfectly!"

"You failed, didn't you?"

"What makes you say that, Nerdstein?"

"You, an impulsive idiot with a brain of a boar, you knew me for more than a year now, and yet you only ask me for help now. What does that mean? That means you're desperate. That means that you are about to lose everything."

Geez, how does he do that?

"Uh, yeah, whatever! So could you please help me?!"

"Marcus, do you really think I have the time to tutor an imbecile like you when I could be researching something that could benefit humanity?"

"Uhh, yes? Because you know, we're best buddies! Remember the time you went rogue on DATS and I punched you so hard that it made you nice again?"

"No, I will not help you. You know, I think you don't even really remember what happened that day."

"Yeah, I do. You went all bananas and I punched you a lot because I had no clue about what you were trying to say, right? Then you said '''I'm sorry for being a jerk, so let me tutor you as a gift for our friendship!' ''Then we saved the world!"

"What? I didn't say that. I think you have brain damage or something. Also, I have to go to a science convention immediately. Your stupidity made me late by about five minutes. Good luck with your exams, Marcus," and with that, he hung up.

"Agumon! Can you believe hung up on me?"

"Wow, it looks like you're_ totally_ hopeless now!"

"Thanks, Agumon. You are the worst friend ever. I'm seriously leaving you out on the street today!" shouted Marcus. This led to him throwing punches at Agumon repeatedly.

"Haha, you're mom will totally scold you for that. Besides, you know you need me to actually do anything that doesn't involve hitting random things like a moron!"

And with that, they quarreled for the whole day. Yes, Marcus did fail the first quiz of that semester. With his fear of failing all his exams increasing, he continued to bother both of his best friends in hope that they would somehow feel sorry for him.

* * *

Author's Note:

Am I going to continue this silly little story? I don't know! I actually wrote this story a year ago, and I just published it now!

I was going to write a PMD fanfic, but then I watched Digimon Savers (Data Squad) a few years back and was enraged at how horrendously boring it was! Why do videogames always get crappy adaptations? Actually, why does nearly everything get a crappy adaptation?


End file.
